Saturday, January 14, 2006

Take A Chance On A Quilt

In addition to knitting blogs, I read other blogs that primarily fall into two categories: Mommyblogs and Infertility blogs. The first makes sense, given that I have two young children; but you may wonder about the second, given that I am not infertile. So why am I drawn to these blogs written by women who are struggling to have children? I can't entirely explain it, but I think there are several reasons.

First, many of these women are smart and funny and sarcastic, and that resonates with me.

Second, I feel honored to be able to "share" a part of their struggles. These women write about their fears and their vulnerabilities and their disappointments, and while I may not have the same experiences, I can certainly identify with those things. These women also share their rage, and their bitterness; and while my goal in life is not to be rageful or bitter, these are strong emotions that all of us have at times, and that women are not encouraged or socialized to express. It is refreshing to read "uncensored" expressions of grief and rage (and hope!) know, the things that are often "glossed over" in the Lifetime movies.

Third, it is amazing to read about what happens when these women do become mothers, in whatever way works out; or what happens when they choose to let go of that dream and to explore new ones.

Fourth, my husband is a survivor of testicular cancer, and I knew when I met him that there was no guarantee that we would be able to have children in the "usual" way; so we had many discussions about what options we might explore if fertility was, indeed, an issue. Things worked out for us, but I spent a couple of years thinking about adoption and ART before we even tried to have children, and I don't think that is the norm for most young women.

Fifth, I have a background in sociology and women's studies, and I have done a lot of reading about the politics of women's health and the ethical/legal issues involved in reproduction technologies. This entire area fascinates me! I am also a social worker with experience in grief and loss counseling, and I learn a lot by reading about women's personal experiences with infertility and pregnancy loss.

Anyway. All of that leads to this: Julie writes one of my favorite blogs, and her son--conceived and delivered despite very high odds--recently turned one. Julie is also an amazing quilter, and she is raffling a gorgeous quilt in order to help her friend Boulder finance her own quest for a child. If you love quilts, or if you are just a generous person, or if you are feeling grateful for the children that you have--however they were conceived--do go and buy a chance.